


Parties Like This

by camichats



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Scene Rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-01-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22190311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Jaskier wants to go to Princess Pavetta's betrothal banquet, so he has to convince Renfri and Geralt to come.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Renfri | Shrike
Comments: 11
Kudos: 97





	Parties Like This

"Remember how much you both like me?" Jaskier said, and they both just blinked at him blankly. "Right, moving on. I want to go to Princess Pavetta's betrothal banquet, but there are certain parties in Cintra that might be- um, opposed to my presence." 

Geralt grunted, conveying pretty clearly that he was often a person that was opposed to Jaskier's presence. 

"You want us to be your bodyguards," Renfri said, and Jaskier nodded. 

"Not that you need to hover, feel free to enjoy the party, but yes, make sure no spurned lord gets a swing at my pretty face." 

"How many lords are we talking about?" 

Jaskier considered this, blowing out a breath that meant he was about to undersell the number. 

"Forget I asked," Renfri said drily. "I don't suppose we have a choice." 

"We do," Geralt argued, and she gave him a flat look. 

"If we say no, he's going to go and get his face bashed in. I've gotten used to his enthusiasm deterring people that would otherwise fancy themselves your equal." 

"Hmm." 

Jaskier looked between them, and when Renfri gave him a nod, he grinned. "Marvelous, I'm looking forward to it. I'll take care of your outfits," he said, and he bounced off. 

"What does that mean?" she called after him, but he pretended not to hear and kept walking. "Jaskier!" She scowled at the shut door. 

"This is what happens when you indulge him." 

"Fuck off, you were going to go anyways." 

"Hmm." 

* * *

Renfri felt like one of those dead animals who'd had its head stuffed for others to view. Jaskier hadn't even attempted to get her in dress, thank Lilit, but embroidered tunics weren't her idea of a good time either. The only consolation she had was that Geralt was equally as miserable, and now that they'd agreed, he wasn't letting her back out. 

"It won't be that bad," he said with a grimace that meant even if it wasn't going to be the worst thing  _ ever _ , it was still going to be pretty bad. "There will be ale. Plenty of it." 

"I'll need a barrel all to myself to endure royals and their court." 

"I thought you admired Queen Calanthe." 

"Admire her on the battlefield. That doesn't mean I want to see her sitting at the high table in a stuffy dress that costs more than an entire village's yearly earnings." 

"Hmm." 

"When we're sufficiently bored and Jaskier's safe, can we sneak off somewhere to fuck?" 

Geralt snorted. 

"It wouldn't be as boring, that's all I'm saying." 

"Mhmm." 

Jaskier rejoined them from- fuck, she didn't know. Perfuming his bottom or something. "Alright let us go. In the beginning, maybe it would be best if you stayed close to me, just to ward off anyone that might happen to recognize me straight away. You're here to protect me, but I also don't want any blood on your clothes, so... look intimidating. Geralt, that means no punching anyone or removing their head from their body. Renfri, that means no stabbing with your dagger, fork, dinner knife, or any other pointy object you might find. 

"It might be best if we keep a low profile," he continued as they entered the building, "so don't tell anyone who you are. Or who I am. I'm here to enjoy the gossip as it unfolds, not be part of it. We can't hide the fact that you're a witcher, but as long as no one knows that you are the Geralt of Rivia and his partner, we'll be good so keep it to yourself.  _ Very  _ to yourself. Imagine that you hate all these people and that if you say nothing to them, they will cease to exist. You are positively mute, absolutely invisible until you need to scare someone away. Got it?" 

They both nodded, and he blew out a breath. 

"Excellent." 

They stepped in the hall, and someone immediately called, "Geralt of Rivia!" Parts of the crowd started cheering, and Jaskier just closed his eyes with a sigh of defeat. 

"Does this mean I get to stab someone?" Renfri asked. 

"No," they said. 

She huffed, and the man that had called Geralt's name made his way over, a grin on his face. 


End file.
